Oh dear, what have I gotten myself into.
Today I will be looking at what I know of the films produced by disney channel, and for those of you whoe don't watch disney channel, you might be thinking "Hey it's disney these might not be too bad", well all I can say is, thats wishfull thinking my friend.
But to be fair these movies were made for kids, but that doesn't give them all excuses to go of and write crap diologue and give us sometimes incredebly dumb storylines, lets get started.
High school musical - ***
To start off with lets go for a series which actually isn't too bad. The storyline Goes a basketball player named troy winds up falling in love with a freaking hot nerdy science girl named Gabriella when they first meet in a kareoke contest, and when Troy returns home he soon finds that his freinds and basketball team mates are not very accepting to his sudden interest in wanting to be in the school musical with Gabriella. To be honest the music in this film was actuall pretty good and definatly memerable, the actors and actresses to a pretty good job and this is probably the best disney Channel original movie. If you don't agree with me you obviosly haven't seen the others.
High school musical 2 - ***
Once again it was o.k. but not as good as the first one. Now the storyline goes that troy is looking for a good summer job to help raise money for when he goes to college, and throughout the movie we can see just how worried Troy realy is about actually taking charge of his life and being good enough to get to where he wants to go. The storyline once again does a pretty good job as well do the actors and actresses, but the songs aren't as memerable as the first one and sometimes Ashley tisdales performace as sharpey just seems to be a bit silly and kind of embaresing, but most of the time she does a good job of being that snobby girl who just wants to be a big shinning star in an effort to get Troys attention. If theres nothing else on i say watch but, if something else like Speed or Clerks is on, I say stop wasting you time and watch those.
Minute men - **
3 kids who build a time machine, create a black hole and save the world, thats it, nothing more simple but it seem they wre trying to make it seem complecated with some somewhat scientific diologue that I doubt any kids watching this would understand, but it would just make them go, "Whoa". The actors and actresses, some of them do o.k but sometimes it just isn't believable, espcially the jock named Derek, who for me throughout the whole movie had the same tone and look and only time he ever showed any different emotion was when he was calling Virgule a dork, please tell me do you know anyone who calls anyone a dork now a days? So overall Minute Men is nothing more than an ode to other time travelling movies, even the dance scene is trying be like the dance scene in "Back to the future", it's nothing more than chessy music, diolgue and a copy cat film.
Camp rock - **
First off i want to say that for a movie called Camp rock there was no rock and roll in the movie what so ever, it was all pop, R&B and some really bad DJ music. But lets really get going, the movie is about a Girl named Mitchie, played by Demi Levato, who wants to go to a music camp for her summer vacation, and while there all she wants to do is fit in with the popular but annoying crowed. Mean while the leader of a band called connect 3 (The Jonas brothers) called Shane Gray played by Joe Jonas is forced to stay at the camp and teach while he cleans up his attitude.
The jonas brothers all do a pretty good Job in the acting deppartment even though they had never acted before, and demi levato does a good job to, but it doesn't help the film very much, the music for me was in some cases just annoying except for 2 songs "Play my music" by the jonas brothers and "This is me" played by Demi Levato. The whole mvie is just filled with cliche's, bad jokes and there's also the camp director who in all honestly is probaly the worst actor in the movie because you just can't take him seriously and even when he's trying to be funny he's just annoying. There are some nit picks, but in the end the film makes you feel pretty good, but thats about it. Watch it once for curiosity and that should do you.
The Cheetah girls - **
It's a movie about a pop girl band who want to get big, all i can really say is, it's what you would expect. The actors and actresses, do an o.k job I guess for what there is, and really that's all I can say thats good about this movie, to be honest, it's all just one big blur, the music for me wasn't too good, don't get me wrong the girls are very good singers but that doesn't help the film to much. Most of the film is just girls getting mad at each other, getting mad at their parents, getting upset with each other and sometimes, just being abnoxious and unaware of how they are acting. The story for me was rushed into way too fast, they didn't give a lot of time in some cases to develope some of the chararcters espcially how Gabrielle becomes such a snobby bitch who thinks shes a total celebrity. All it does for you is just annoy you to a certain extent and you'll be shutting off your T.V half way through when you eventually realise what you watching, sorry girls but this had to be done.
the Cheetah girls 2 - **1/2
This one did a little bit better than the last one, the acting once again was o.k, but really all the diference is, is that now they are trying to make it big in spain when they sign up for a music festival in Barcelona, and this time there is some stuck up bitch who wants her daughter to win the competition and trys get rid of the Cheetah girls and thats it. It's just the same old spontanious Dance movies and music however i will say the last song in the film was actually for me pretty enjoyable to watch, good job girls you did a little better. Now with the 3rd one coming out, they are now in india, for whatever reason and to be honest it doesn't look so good and as always disney chanel is over hyping it, Great fucking job.
Wendy wu home coming warrior - **
The storyline for this one goes that there is some girl Named Wendy who wants to become home coming queen of her high school, but she soon descovers that she is a yen Warrior who has to save the world from some old chinese monster guy, now that is just a really stupid plot. The acting is not that great but for the most part isn't bad. and to be honest the fight scenes were pretty cool too, but when I hear some of that really chessy diolougue in the later scenes and also some embaressing moments with the monk Chen, it just annoys me a little bit, and near the end wendy just decides who cares if the world becomes evil I want to be the home coming queen. Now tell me whats wrong with that............FUCKING EVERRYTHING!!!!!!!
Overall it not the worst thing to have come out of disney channel but believe me when I say this I have seen so much better, the special effects are just crap and i have seen better acting in other disney films.
O.k I'm getting tired lets rap this up. here's a short list of the other films on disney channel I have seen.
Twas the night - ***
The ultimate christmas present - **1/2
Halloween town - **
Halloween town 2 kallabars revenge - *1/2
Halloween town high - *
Return to halloween town - *
Twitches - **1/2
Twitches 2 - **
Go figure - ***
Jump in - ***
Theres probably more that I have seen but to be honest I can't remmember them all, maybe some day I'll post another artical on those other ones but not for a long time, only when I can be bothered.
Happy new year!!!!!!!!!
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