Top 16 chuck norris facts

Chuck Norris, alot of people have asked what the hell makes him so god damn manly, is it his beard, the fact the he has been in so many action movies, the fact the he once faught bruce lee in a martial arts movie or is just because he's chuck norris well today, I'm here to give the top 16 reasons why Chuck Norris is the man, why top 16.................. because Chuck Norris will's it so!!!!!!!!!




16.If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

15.Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

14.If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever

13. In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.

12. Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

11. What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

10. Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.

9. Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

8. Chuck Norris Doesn't sleep, he waits.

7. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

6. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever

5. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

4. A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

3. Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

2. When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

1.Jesus may walk on water but chuck Norris can swim through land.


There you go, the those are the reasons why chuck norris kicks so much ass, don't agree?


Try Saying that to Chuck Norris!!!!!!!!!!!!







P.s. if anyone see's chuck Norris walk into a bar take note of what he orders, that will one day be known as Chuck Norris Messiah Juice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CHUCK NORRIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The texas chainsaw massaccre (1974)

O.k. so today, it's very rare to see a movie that was made so long ago and to have it to be scary, when we watch "Halloween" and "Dracula" we don't get all that scared but that doesn't meen to say that they are not fun to watch. But then came a movie from director Tobe Hooper and he made an extremly ballzy move when he made "The Texas chainsaw massaccre".

One thing that some people might find a bit disapointing is that you don't really get to see a whole lot of chainsaw deaths, some of them are just implied but in one scene you do sort of see someone get fucked up with a chainsaw, but it's not mega gory like in most movies. This movie focuses more on the characters and how terrified they were through this whole ordeal, and honestly it still works, even by todays standards it's still a pretty freaky movie.

The whole film has a very gritty look about it, and it feels like it could actually happen, today it's mostly just the entertainment to see how many people can get killed in about 100 minutes, but this focuses more on chills and rather than just having blood flying every where.

The final half hour of the film is probably one of the freakiest peices of film I have ever seen and the ending is pure genius with the girl driving of and laughing with an insane sort of look and the final shot of leather face and then just cutting away instantly, was just great.

So while the last half hour was the scariest, the most brutal part was when a girl was hung on a meat hook and was forced to watch someone get cut to bits with a chainsaw. This was made in the 70's right?

The absense of music was another thing that just enhanced the creepy atmosphere and when the music does kick in it's not like a big orchestral score it's more like synth music and it will send chills right down your spine, and when ever the music is played it's allways at the right time, sometimes the sound track it just someone screaming or just the sound of a chainsaw.

If old horror films don't scare you much then I assure you this one will, I mean this was made in 1974 so you can imagine just how terrified people in theaters were at the time.

*****/*****

A masterpeice!

Scary for it's time, and for all time.