"A Good Day to Die Hard" (Review)

When I first heard that there was going to be a 5^th Die hard movie, I almost shit my pants, I loved all the movies in the series at this point so hearing that one of my favorite franchises was coming back to kick even more ass had me hyped, but in the weeks leading up to the movies release and the days before I went to see the movie, there were several warning signs that hit me straight in the face.

1.      When I heard that Skip Woods had written the movie, I have to say I was not very impressed, all the movies I had seen that he had written up to that point were not exactly what you would call good movies, “Swordfish” was confusing and “Hitman” was a load of rubbish. I had always said that Skip Woods can come up with interesting ideas, but he was not very good at implementing them.

2.      I started watching a review by Brad Jones, a critic who I actually respect when it comes to his opinion, he simply said it sucked, this was yet again not a very good sign.

3.      I saw Bruce Willis on “The One Show” and to put it simply, he looked like he didn't give a shit about the movie; it looked like he had to get totally stoned just to try and say anything good about the movie.

So as you can see, I was fucking panicking about the movie possibly sucking the big long thing, but I decided to go into the movie  with an open mind and hope that it would be at least okay…….and boy was I wrong.

To put it simply, this movie sucked so hard that I would rather stick my dick into a bowl of boiling hot fudge and have a cannibal bite it off……okay maybe that’s a tad extreme, but one thing that is true to what I said, the movie was terrible.

The characters were dull and completely under developed; honestly I can’t remember half of the characters names, they were given little time to develop and sometimes we would meet one new character and he would be killed off like 5 mins later not giving us anytime to give a fuck. The biggest let down was our fucking lead character; it seemed he was downgraded to a bloody side character, what the hell?!?!?! Why would you do that to John McLean, he one of the greatest action heroes of all time.

The action scenes were mediocre at best, they were horribly filmed and edited, it was so hard to figure out what the hell was going on half the time, what ever happened to keeping the camera still and holding on the shot for about 5 seconds, you know, like a good movie!!!

The story was just jumbled bullshit that skip wood must have sewn together from deleted excerpts from previous movies, it kept jumping from one point to the next (like this review), it was very difficult to follow for the most part and try to make sense of and when ever they tried to explain something it just came out of the blue in an unnatural way and still i wound up confused, skip woods has an incredible talent for over complicating things way too fucking much.

One thing that I simply have to discuss is the end action sequence, as you would expect from a modern action flick it has what you would expect from it, explosion, crazy stunts and so forth, but this goes way too far, it is so over the top. The slow mo effects over used and at times make the whole situation appear retarded and some of the character reactions had me in fits of laughter. You will never forget the image of when the villain dies, it is fucking halarious, but here's the thing, you'll never remember the villain because of how dull he was, or how dull all of them were. 

The last point I would like to mention is that this movie simply wasn't a Die hard film, it had none of the suspense, thrills and cool characters that the other installments had, it’s a shame to see how one franchise can be degraded so low to this point, it’s sad and In many ways I hope there isn't going to be another Die hard film, but in many ways there should be, just to make up for this piece of so called action film making, I’ll just stick with the first 4 movies thanks.  

**/*****