16.If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
15.Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
14.If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever
13. In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
12. Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
11. What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.
10. Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
9. Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
8. Chuck Norris Doesn't sleep, he waits.
7. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
6. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever
5. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
4. A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
3. Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
2. When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
1.Jesus may walk on water but chuck Norris can swim through land.
There you go, the those are the reasons why chuck norris kicks so much ass, don't agree?
Try Saying that to Chuck Norris!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.s. if anyone see's chuck Norris walk into a bar take note of what he orders, that will one day be known as Chuck Norris Messiah Juice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CHUCK NORRIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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