(Note from Daryl: He's not taking over this site.)
(PS. I Kan soo spellll.)
Now that we've cleared that up, we can get down to some business. Unless you've been living in the vacuum sealed pickle jar that is your imagination for the past two months you'll know that at the time that I write this, it is Christmas. Well it's past Christmas but that doesn't seem to stop people from celebrating it a couple of days afterwards. Any excuse to get drunk and wear a silly hat I suppose.
So in the spirit of the season (You know? Christmas?) I have decided to review one of the best Christmas movies ever for you. No it's not "It's a Wonderful Life". No it's not "Miracle on 34th Street". Maybe I should be more specific.
I have decided to review one of the best Christmas HORROR movies ever for you.
BLACK CHRISTMAS - Director: Bob Clark
I think I must start out by saying, this movie rocks. Where as other slasher movies have failed to exploit the Christmas season properly ("Silent Night, Deadly Night" anyone?) this one does it flawlessly and without having the killer dress up as Santa Clause.
The movie starts out with an unknown person sneaking into the attic of a sorority house at Christmas time (Having preceded "Halloween" not only through the time of production but also in the "killer's eye" use of the POV shot). Later the girls inside get some VERY obscene phone calls from an unknown caller and location (Seriously, if you're watching with mother either skip the scene or announce loudly that you're pregnant. Trust me, it works whether you're a boy or a girl).
The movie offers up likeable characters that you actually care about as opposed to the large breasted blonde bimbos that populate this genre. The story grips and doesn't let go for a second, with it's atmospheric look and creepy settings, and afterwards you are left wondering what happened afterwards. The deaths aren't gory but this doesn't detract from the movie. The film creates fear through suggestion and suspense rather than slinging gallons of gore. Great Christmas watch.
Also look out for Margot Kidder's drunken ramble about a certain type of turtle she saw at the zoo. Classic.
Blood and Gore Factor - 1/5
Scary Ass Factor - 4/5
Overall - 4/5
Tagline: "If this movie doesn't make your skin crawl it's on too tight!"
Black Xmas (Remake): Director: Glen Morgan
Now for the remake. It wasn't bad. I had a lot of faith in Glen Morgan and James Wong because they did some of the best "X-Files" episodes up until season 4 (Nerd Alert!) and they did alot of great stuff in the first and third "Final Destination" movies and the "Willard" remake . It had problems though. The movie had a lot of great black humour and the flashbacks are suitably scary ass. But the gore in the movie was kinda over the top for a straight horror film. Alot of the eyeball stuff was just too much, or at least you didn't have to see it.... Damn.
Another problem. It was like 74 minutes long. AAAAaaaaarrrrrggghh!
Blood & Gore Factor - 4/5
Scary Ass Factor - 3/5
Overall - 3/5
Tagline: "Let the Slay Ride begin!"
That's it. Have a very bloody Christmas and a horrific New Year. I know me and Daryl will....
Daryl: Thanks Glenn for that way too long fucking reveiw now get the fuck off my site, I've other shit to type up.
Thanks for reading kids.
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